I fully intend to work my way through the #resound posts, although I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the past few months, days, hours, minutes.
I've recently eschewed the notion of creating resolutions at the beginning of the year. I often feel like I am not up to keeping a promise to myself for a year, and the mere thought makes me want to buckle under it.
This year I'm reconsidering this idea.
There is a collective consciousness that surrounds the ending of one year and the beginning of another. I feel that we are all, in our unique and meaningful ways, taking stock of things and events that have happened in 2011 and considering those things that haven't. And we are also looking forward to the things that we intend to accomplish in the days and months and year ahead of us.
For me, rather than looking at resolutions from the perspective of lack and failure, or from where I could have been better or different, this year I'm choosing something else.
I'm been in the middle of an emotional sea change that began in August, and that reached it's zenith two weeks ago. I realized how important it is for me to step into my feelings and express them without being consumed by the fear and insecurity that I so easily allow to hold me back.
It has become vitally necessary for me to be at peace with my inner world and to not have regrets. This perspective evolved exponentially once I began to spend time with people who are at the end of their life; some of whom no longer have the use of language or any traditional means to express themselves.
I have the means right now. Right this minute.
No longer will my fear of being rejected by others be bigger than my desire and need to be seen and heard.
I am grateful for a community of friends who continually support this in me. The truth is that I have been my own biggest obstacle when it comes to being vulnerable and believing that I am worth the hugeness that comes with being a part of a loving and intimate relationship.
Moving forward into this new year that I am so fortunate to be alive for, I will step into believing that I am enough, that I am deserving of love, without giving in to self-doubt and fear.
Shakespeare encapsulated this feeling that is radiating through me with these simple words...
This above all: to thine own self be true.
xo.
